It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

Reporting season for the big Wall Street banks this week. That'll be fun. "Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa..."

Something to watch out for: The US Federal Reserve isn't legally allowed save Bear Stearns directly (Bear Stearns is THE WRONG KIND OF BANK), so the Fed is pumping money into JPMorgan (which is THE RIGHT KIND OF BANK), and JPMorgan is pumping the money into Bear Stearns. (The Fed is essentially using JPMorgan as a condom.)

The emergency deal they've worked out only lasts 28 days, and is designed to give JPMorgan and Bear Stearns enough time to come to a permanent arrangement. (JPMorgan buy all or most of Bear Stearns for a dollar, most likely. OK, one-to-five billion dollars.)

Twenty eight days isn't long, to arrange such a big, complicated, forced takeover. But in real life, they've only got until the Asian markets open on Monday morning. So if you're in the NY pizza'n'coffee delivery business, get your butt down to 270 Park Avenue, and throw a stone at the lit windows in a few hours time.

They'll tip big.